i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want her autograph on my taint
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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