About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
