Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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