We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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