I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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