is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
