There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you didnt know i had herpes?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
