Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just want to make out with him forever
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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