Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
