you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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