Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
