So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
