He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
