My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
