I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Never underestimate the power of titties
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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