Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
