Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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