so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
