So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
