i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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