Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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