Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
