He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
