we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
