i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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