so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
