party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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