My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
