Tell her she can't have a vagina
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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