I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sorry about my life...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
