You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
