its not stalking. its research.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
