I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
