out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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