Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
