i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
