it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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