oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
