The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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