But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
