Screwed.edu
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
