& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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