Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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