he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
