Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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