this just has baby written all over it
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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