just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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