I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
