Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize