Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
