if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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