Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
