Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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