names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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