so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I know her cup size but not her name....
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