My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
