sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
