were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
jump out the window naked night went bad
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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